i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
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