That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
