I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
You can't special order awesome
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
