Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
