Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
