I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
