Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
