fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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