I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
