Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
