gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Randomize
