is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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