My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
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