he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
