used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
