he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Randomize
