shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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