I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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