Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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