I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
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