I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
It's no shave November. This is our time.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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