This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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