You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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