Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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