last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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