He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
