3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
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