Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
