can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
