Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
she peed on how many people?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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