She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
