i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Operation Purity has been aborted
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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