my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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