Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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