My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
What a dumb baby whore.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
