Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
