Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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