Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
