Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
They took my balls.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
