Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
