I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
