you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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