So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
