The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
