I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
