come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
