Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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