I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
