That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
