i think my mom watched the whole time
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Randomize
