I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Randomize
