don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Send help, water and tortillas.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
